I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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