i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
