whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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