Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Randomize
