Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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