I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He has the fingertips of a God
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
