Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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