Sry I called you an 8
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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