I think my vagina is haunted
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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