Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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