i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
