I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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