pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
as a side note pls kill me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
