I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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