How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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