Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
