I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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