You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
NoShamevember. You game?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
