He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
