somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
