Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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