I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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