no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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