It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
