Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
