I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Cover your peen. We're going out.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
