I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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