I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
