sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I have post one night stand depression
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