Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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