at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
