sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
