But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
