They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
