Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
