Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I could fuck to npr.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
