I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
