the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
