Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
