i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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