My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
