I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
