Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
