Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
