I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
