I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
