dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
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