I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
