I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
