You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
