So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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