seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
